Bar Hop Series - Dublin's, Coles, Bar 107, Los Angeles Brewing Company and Las Perlas

 I got off the Red Line. My first stop is the usual, Dublin's, just to lubricate myself towards the evening.  I got carded. I'm old enough to be your father twice over. $4.00 dollar pints of Guiness, the price makes me happy. The only place I know that serves Guiness for that price is the Canby, the Hungarian always serves the brews there.

Guiness

I was on a quest to go to a bar, I hazily remembered from a previous barhopping jaunt. My recollection of where the bar was not too strong so I took to wandering the downtown streets hoping I would bump into it. But as I wandered and I saw a bar that interested me I would naturally walk in.

Black Butte - subtle

I walked into Coles. I went down to the far end of the bar. I sat myself down next to a black girl, named Juwana, next to her was Rudy, a latino, who was firmly esconced in picking Juwana up and I was interrupting.  The conversation was about "lists" and 80's music was playing. List of favorite songs from Prince. Juwana said "Little Red Corvette". I said "Darling Nikki." Madonna was playing. Juwana named some recent Madonna song I've never heard of. I told her "Material Girl" and "Dress You Up in My Love" (because its the type song you can dance to.) Juwana laughed and said, "No guy says that!". OMG, the implications are I'm a total metrosexual. The conversation got around to other bars in the area. Rudy mention the "Down and Out", as a good place to be because towards the end of the evenings women will be three sheets into the wind and can be had very easily. He mentioned one time he was there some girl jumped on the bar and the did some type of sexy stripper dance. Rudy brought up the question "if you were stuck on a desert island and had only one movie to watch over and over again what would it be?" Rudy said, "Casino."

Abita Turbodog. I find it licoricey.

Juwana said, "When Harry met Sally." This ultimatum on the list usually suggest you like the values within the movie and therefore would like to have those value played out over and over again or reinforced. I chose something they never heard of Wong Kar-Wai's "Chungking Express", a pseudo-romantic film that has inspired others like Marianna Palk's "Good Dick" and Sofia Coppola's "Lost in Translation". Ben Hur was playing on the LCD and the chariot race scene came on I quiped "Looks like the 405." Juwana laughed. Rudy last question was, "If you were stuck on a desert island and had to choose on season of a TV series, what would it be?" Rudy said, "Family." Juwana, said, "Arrested Development." I asked, "What that TV show with comedy, romance, has element of a musical, you know the one with Calista Flockhart?" "Ally McBeal! I love Ally McBeal.", peeled Juwana. I said, "Ok. I gotta get outta here, because I coming off as being so gay."

I saw another bar across from Coles and it is Las Perlas but they didn't open until 10 pm.

Freshly squeezed Guiness at Bar 107.

Wandered into Bar 107. My history with Bar 107 is I was 86ed twice from the place, once for carousing a bit too much and the other I was denied entry at the door. For a bar that supposed to have a grimy dive atmosphere what's with the red velvet rope policy? This establishment has gotten so snobby, and snooty. They try to cultivate the barfly-in-the-dregs image with their black velvet painting of a naked black woman and assorted Dada artworks, reality is you better be able to walk the line. The bartender squeezed a can of Guiness into my glass, and I said "Freshly squeezed." I talked with some snotty downtowner who lived in his $1,300 apartment about the boring real estate market. Shit, I got the fuck outta there.

Yeti at Los Angeles Brewing Company.

I found the bar, I had the hazy recollection of. Its the Los Angeles Brewing Company. They have a lot of brews on tap. It was still too early and the late night crowd started seep in. Too bad I have to leave before I'm too far gone.

Wee Heavy at Las Perlas

Las Perlas is a tequila bar, but surprisingly they had a good selection of dark brews. The scene is not the type I detest because the people are a bit too dressed up. I was talking with 2 other guys and sharing my Wee Heavy (it comes in a tall bottle, almost champagne like) with them but since it was too malty the girls couldn't take it. I hung and watch the pool game.

Pool at Las Perlas.

I sobered up at my favorite Japanese cafe. I ordered the specials which I can't recollect. Where Hitomi?  She is such a cutie.

Ocha to miso.

Got the train and made it come before the 2:30 am curfew.

Bar Hopping Series - Club Reseda

I got off work early and wanted to do some pre-celebrating  before the New Year at my cousin's house. Unfortunately, Crazy Harry wasn't going to open till 6 pm. so the only alternative was to try some place new, Club Reseda. It earned my disappointment. It's just a beer and wine dive with a bad selection of brews. Typical Mexican joint and I didn't want to hang with  the patrons. Lucy was tending bar. What made the place amusing was Frank and Ray. The minute I walked in I overheard them razing the regulars of the place. Say shit like "look my grandma came in" in reference to an older, portly lady. So we got to talking about the bars around the San Fernando Valley. Ray talked about a bar in Sun Valley that had more of a real south of the border feel than Club Reseda..way south of the border. Ray said when he went to use the john some guy was offering free samples of coke from a baggie. Kinda like when they have those free samples of sausages at Costco, but instead its coke. So everytime he had to take a piss he was uncomfortable being near Mr. Coke Pusher Man. He said the placed look like it was controlled some Mexican Gangsters, La M. You could tell who were the gangsters, because of their Norteno outfits. Ray said its the first and last time he'll ever hang around there. Ray is kinda of joker with Frank being the but of his jokes. One time Ray sold Frank some grass clippings and told him it was weed. Another time Ray sold Frank some chalk, the kinda chalk used to mark the lines on the football field and told him it was coke. Frank would snort some and then two seconds later Frank's nose started to bleed.

Barhopping - Layoffs, Girl from Ipanema, Flavelas

Due to cost cutting and budgetary constraints the company will need to fire some people...Management was doing away with our Policy Owner Services (POS) Department. Management decided to move the functions of POS to the Amarillo offices, where the cost of labor and cost of living was cheaper. The former employees were all given severance packages. November 20, 2012 was their last day and they decided to celebrate at TGIF.

Jackie, tall, dark and lovely was serving my favorite when there are no other favorable darkies-Guiness.

 The question of the evening was what you would do with your severance proceeds. Selena said she was going to move to Bali, Indonesia which prompted me to give the greeting of As-salamu alaykum and she replied back alaikum salam. She would be worshiped in an Islamic country like Indonesia because she was dark and voluptuous.  Selena was a bit tipsy during the evening and kept harping on me to get Ricardo's ass (my fellow office mate) to the party. I sent several harassing phone calls to Ricardo who was still at his cubicle but finally got to the party.

The most interesting use of the severance package belongs to Brian. Brian had vacationed in Brazil. On the beach of Ipanema, while having one of the best pizza, shaped into a cone, he saw Her.

Maria behind some beer.

She was with her three friends, coming from the beach, topless and going to take a shower. Brian was harpooned by Her. She came over. She smiled. They talked. She said there was going to be a party at the favela, she gave Brian the address.

The taxi wouldn't go into the favelas. Gorgeous girls left their taxis, and paid motorcycle taxi to take them into the favelas. The favelas were lit up like stars strewn across the hillside. Brian was at the appointed place waiting and dancing. She showed up around 3:00 am. They hung out until the morning hours. Brian is going back to her.

The POS party ended at around 9:30 pm. POS party started at 4:30 pm. I nightcapped at Webers. Jocelyn was seving. Formerly she was student majoring in psychology and minored in threater.

Barhopping-Purdy Effect, Spit in My Face, On Being an Nothingness

I walked into Dublin's as the Raiders game was ending. I got into a conversation with Tomas at the bar. Tomas called the Raiders, Traiders because they used to be an LA team and they betrayed us by moving to Oakland. "But if you had to be a team that came from some place that is hardcore which would you choose:  Los Angeles or Oakland?," I asked. "Oakland.", he said. "It would be like a football team, Angelenos brought over being supported like some place that was hardcore like Compton." Our conversation segued into Tomas and my itinerant ways and places we've lived and one of the places we had not lived is Compton. I noted the Purdy effect of hiring a cute bartender and greeter in Dublins. "That's to bring more guys into the door.", Tomas said. "Word!." Rene was tending bar, kinda like Irene except with out the "I". To me that sounded very Irish. I had two drinks (the other a Guiness, the Smithwick ($4.00 draft) was to pale to be for me) and bolted.

Got off at the Cypress/Lincoln Heights station walked over several blocks to La Blanc. Just football on the big screens. But they were playing a good set of oldies:  LA Woman by the Doors, House of the Rising Sun by the Animals, etc. Over the bar they had sign: "Beer: Helping Ugly People have Sex since 1862."

Mushroom chicken and orange chicken.

I walked down Broadway and needed to sober up with some food at "Five Chinese??", a small mom and pop joint. Mom and pop had 3 little boys scampering around. The littlest boy was so happy to see me, he greeted me with a smile but he had a mouthful of spit which he squeezed out between his teeth at me. I felt like reenacting the scene from Ace Ventur-Pet Detective's "Show of Affection."

I

 Jumped back on the Metro, got off on the Highland Park station, and headed for the Cave. Got checked in by Tony.

I had a Murphy's Irish Stout. Good crowd for a Sunday night, kinda expected since tomorrow was a holiday for some. The jazzy band did their instrumental version of Sublime's Santeria.

I took the 81 bus line to the Black Boar where I had another Murphy's.

I would have been good to see Brenda to top off the evening. But it ended up like Being and Nothingness.

Barhopping series - Steak n' Eggs, Too Clubby

Famished and cold. Nothing like Norm's steak and eggs to appease my hunger and sober me up.

At the Hully Gully, got checked in by having my id looked over and being frisked by security. (Shook hands with security and he looked down during the handshake.) Paid a $10.00 cover. The music was 80's and very loud. At the bar they didn't have any dark beers, and no Guiness. My natural tendency is to drink Pabst when it comes to drinking pisswater and f*ck Heineken. I was texting at the time and some lady says something about "do I always have to be connected?" When the music is this loud and my feeling for the place is le mepris because it is so clubby and not divey enough; my consolation is to text. But my reply was: "Its getting close to 1:00 am, the witching hour when they stop serving. It's best you drink up while you still can."

Barhopping series - Lost a Girl to My Best Friend, Cancer Stick Pimp, Zee & Ray

When I used to live in Downey, I'd go cruising (not in the gay-sense) and I'd see some bars that would interest me but I didn't have the balls to go in. Anarchy Library Bar is on of those bars.

Walked over from Cocktails to the Anarchy, got checked in by Bob The Bouncer (silver maned elderly fellow with a goattee) and its still too early for 9 o'clock. The DJ was still setting up. Asked the DJ the genre of music?, it would be 80's. I requested "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division and got it.

Rei (Raylene?, Rashene?) dark hair in a French Bob beauty was serving at the bar. Later, Zee another dark haired beauty would bar tend. I love the bartenders nom de guerre or nom d'artiste. Started talking to another barfly in glasses, mustache and goatee but he was very reticent. Cancer stick pimp asked us if we wanted some free cigarettes. Sure I said. Cancer stick pimp didn't have the pack on him but he would give us a coupon if we told him our e-mail address. I was about to tell him to sod off, when I conned him into bumming a cigarette off him to smoke outside. Talked and smoked with Bob and Cancer Stick Pimp. I expected to get a jag from the cig but it was so f*cking cold I couldn't feel the hit. I got the free cig and didn't have to shell out my e-mail address.

Got to talking with Reticent Barfly about women. The subject set Reticent Barfly off and he became more real and talkative. He had just lost his girl to his best friend. He called a whore.

Barhopping - Faded Glories, and Scary Paul

 I was in Downey looking to drink and socialize but the bar I wanted to go to didn't open till 8:30 pm. Downey must have zero tolerance for drunks during the day. "Puritanism and Productivity." is probably the city's motto. I cruise down Bellflower Blvd and see this hole in the wall, The Midway.

 Somehow the name is apropos since the bar is probably a relic from World War II and most of the clients look to be from "the greatest generation." I wanted to use the head and I accidently walk in on a guy who's peeing. I apologize and excuse myself. After he comes out of the head, I apologize about the door not being locked and he goes on: "Its okay, I'm only holding my Johnson in my hand." My reply back, "Well, so long as its not another man holding your Johnson. (That's a schooner-size of Newcastle for $5.00. The only dark beer they have in the place. They don't even carry Guiness.)

Iron Lion. Zion.

MaryAnn is tending bar. She has the deepest dimples I have ever seen. They are deep because of former piercings. Some older middle age guy is going on about how he used to be in a band and how much pussy he used to get. What purpose does that conversation serve? Anyways, I thought this was going to be a straight up country western bar until they started playing U2 and this gem from REM. 

On the other side of the street from the Anarchy Library Bar is as the sign says. Patricia is tending bar. Paul's been drinking for while, prepping himself before he goes to the karaoke bar, where he says there are a lot of hot women. Paul says he's never blackouted from drinking too much and he starts his story  of how he argued his way out of a drunk driving arrest.
"So why did you stop me officer..You think I was drunk...So you THINK  I was drunk..HOW DO YOU ESTABLISH SOMEONE IS DRUNK BY THINKING THEY ARE DRUNK!!!" The further he got into his story, the louder he got, the more obnoxious became and he'd get in your face. Then he goes on about how much profit can be generated as a business owner. I play myself off as the ingenu, watch the show and enjoy the ride. My take away is lose the chip on your shoulder and you'll be free.

As far as decent beers, Cocktails is the only place with a good dark brew, Arrogant Bastard Dark Ale.