Barhopping-Purdy Effect, Spit in My Face, On Being an Nothingness

I walked into Dublin's as the Raiders game was ending. I got into a conversation with Tomas at the bar. Tomas called the Raiders, Traiders because they used to be an LA team and they betrayed us by moving to Oakland. "But if you had to be a team that came from some place that is hardcore which would you choose:  Los Angeles or Oakland?," I asked. "Oakland.", he said. "It would be like a football team, Angelenos brought over being supported like some place that was hardcore like Compton." Our conversation segued into Tomas and my itinerant ways and places we've lived and one of the places we had not lived is Compton. I noted the Purdy effect of hiring a cute bartender and greeter in Dublins. "That's to bring more guys into the door.", Tomas said. "Word!." Rene was tending bar, kinda like Irene except with out the "I". To me that sounded very Irish. I had two drinks (the other a Guiness, the Smithwick ($4.00 draft) was to pale to be for me) and bolted.

Got off at the Cypress/Lincoln Heights station walked over several blocks to La Blanc. Just football on the big screens. But they were playing a good set of oldies:  LA Woman by the Doors, House of the Rising Sun by the Animals, etc. Over the bar they had sign: "Beer: Helping Ugly People have Sex since 1862."

Mushroom chicken and orange chicken.

I walked down Broadway and needed to sober up with some food at "Five Chinese??", a small mom and pop joint. Mom and pop had 3 little boys scampering around. The littlest boy was so happy to see me, he greeted me with a smile but he had a mouthful of spit which he squeezed out between his teeth at me. I felt like reenacting the scene from Ace Ventur-Pet Detective's "Show of Affection."

I

 Jumped back on the Metro, got off on the Highland Park station, and headed for the Cave. Got checked in by Tony.

I had a Murphy's Irish Stout. Good crowd for a Sunday night, kinda expected since tomorrow was a holiday for some. The jazzy band did their instrumental version of Sublime's Santeria.

I took the 81 bus line to the Black Boar where I had another Murphy's.

I would have been good to see Brenda to top off the evening. But it ended up like Being and Nothingness.

Barhopping series - Steak n' Eggs, Too Clubby

Famished and cold. Nothing like Norm's steak and eggs to appease my hunger and sober me up.

At the Hully Gully, got checked in by having my id looked over and being frisked by security. (Shook hands with security and he looked down during the handshake.) Paid a $10.00 cover. The music was 80's and very loud. At the bar they didn't have any dark beers, and no Guiness. My natural tendency is to drink Pabst when it comes to drinking pisswater and f*ck Heineken. I was texting at the time and some lady says something about "do I always have to be connected?" When the music is this loud and my feeling for the place is le mepris because it is so clubby and not divey enough; my consolation is to text. But my reply was: "Its getting close to 1:00 am, the witching hour when they stop serving. It's best you drink up while you still can."

Barhopping series - Lost a Girl to My Best Friend, Cancer Stick Pimp, Zee & Ray

When I used to live in Downey, I'd go cruising (not in the gay-sense) and I'd see some bars that would interest me but I didn't have the balls to go in. Anarchy Library Bar is on of those bars.

Walked over from Cocktails to the Anarchy, got checked in by Bob The Bouncer (silver maned elderly fellow with a goattee) and its still too early for 9 o'clock. The DJ was still setting up. Asked the DJ the genre of music?, it would be 80's. I requested "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division and got it.

Rei (Raylene?, Rashene?) dark hair in a French Bob beauty was serving at the bar. Later, Zee another dark haired beauty would bar tend. I love the bartenders nom de guerre or nom d'artiste. Started talking to another barfly in glasses, mustache and goatee but he was very reticent. Cancer stick pimp asked us if we wanted some free cigarettes. Sure I said. Cancer stick pimp didn't have the pack on him but he would give us a coupon if we told him our e-mail address. I was about to tell him to sod off, when I conned him into bumming a cigarette off him to smoke outside. Talked and smoked with Bob and Cancer Stick Pimp. I expected to get a jag from the cig but it was so f*cking cold I couldn't feel the hit. I got the free cig and didn't have to shell out my e-mail address.

Got to talking with Reticent Barfly about women. The subject set Reticent Barfly off and he became more real and talkative. He had just lost his girl to his best friend. He called a whore.

Barhopping - Faded Glories, and Scary Paul

 I was in Downey looking to drink and socialize but the bar I wanted to go to didn't open till 8:30 pm. Downey must have zero tolerance for drunks during the day. "Puritanism and Productivity." is probably the city's motto. I cruise down Bellflower Blvd and see this hole in the wall, The Midway.

 Somehow the name is apropos since the bar is probably a relic from World War II and most of the clients look to be from "the greatest generation." I wanted to use the head and I accidently walk in on a guy who's peeing. I apologize and excuse myself. After he comes out of the head, I apologize about the door not being locked and he goes on: "Its okay, I'm only holding my Johnson in my hand." My reply back, "Well, so long as its not another man holding your Johnson. (That's a schooner-size of Newcastle for $5.00. The only dark beer they have in the place. They don't even carry Guiness.)

Iron Lion. Zion.

MaryAnn is tending bar. She has the deepest dimples I have ever seen. They are deep because of former piercings. Some older middle age guy is going on about how he used to be in a band and how much pussy he used to get. What purpose does that conversation serve? Anyways, I thought this was going to be a straight up country western bar until they started playing U2 and this gem from REM. 

On the other side of the street from the Anarchy Library Bar is as the sign says. Patricia is tending bar. Paul's been drinking for while, prepping himself before he goes to the karaoke bar, where he says there are a lot of hot women. Paul says he's never blackouted from drinking too much and he starts his story  of how he argued his way out of a drunk driving arrest.
"So why did you stop me officer..You think I was drunk...So you THINK  I was drunk..HOW DO YOU ESTABLISH SOMEONE IS DRUNK BY THINKING THEY ARE DRUNK!!!" The further he got into his story, the louder he got, the more obnoxious became and he'd get in your face. Then he goes on about how much profit can be generated as a business owner. I play myself off as the ingenu, watch the show and enjoy the ride. My take away is lose the chip on your shoulder and you'll be free.

As far as decent beers, Cocktails is the only place with a good dark brew, Arrogant Bastard Dark Ale.

 

Bar Hopping Series-Gone Daddy Gone, Contra Vida #2, More Tatts

Its like a bad detective novel. Bad like lousy. The dick doesn't get together with  the girl at the end of the story. The case is unsolvable just like life.

I'm at Karla's. Gabriella and Leti are here but no Emily. No Emily.

I snooze. I lose. Now the girl is Gone Daddy Gone. Emily sounds like Memoria.

I jump on the Metro towards the Cave. I get off at the Highland station with a homely looking middle age girl. The smell of the Bhudda is in the air and I naturally comment, "Why does this place always smell like a medical marijuana dispensary?" Which gets a nervous laugh. Middle-age angster is from back east and just had dinner at her parent's house. I mumble something about going to church (my religion is drink and I'm going to worship at the Cave.) Middle-age angster takes my mumblings to mean I just came from church. I tell her I'm going for a drink. I tell her "just to be polite, would you like to join me?" She declines.

I meet Tony the Younger (the bouncer) and exchange greetings.  A jazz band is playing, a few of their friends are there to see them. I meet Contra Vida #2 at the bar. Contra Vida #2 and I will have no common ground in our conversation. But I still talk to her about meeting 2 mystics Friday night and my spell of bad luck. (I thought I had my car stolen.) which is not really bad luck. The bad luck is finding out I'm not impervious to alcoholic blackouts and not knowing what happened afterwards. But to Contra Vida #2 its not bad luck.

Contra Vida #2 leaves. I leave shortly after. Some guy is talking to Tony the Younger about trying to hit it with his ex-wife. I tell him, "Dude, save yourself the frustration." I jump on the bus and head towards The Black Boar.

The regulars are there. Dave The Bouncer. Brenda "Kitty" the bar keep. Adrian, San Francisco ex-pat bar fly.

 To me Brenda is a cyber punk, goth, tatted anime pixie with bubbly Joie de vivre. The closest representation would be Masamune Shirow's Seska.

Did I just over hear Brenda just broke up with her boyfriend and its over? Some barfly told Brenda the reason why he keeps coming back to the Black Boar is because of  Brenda's awesome breasts. Brenda replied, "They are pretty magical, aren't they?" I put my head down on the bar and had a laugh.

Bar Hopping Series - The Bard , A Hybrid of Roseanna Roseannadanna/Lisa Loopner/Natalie Portman

 As I walk into the Hermosillo, I notice an attentive eye from a brunette who's talking to her older friend. However, I realize I don't have enough dinero in my wallet to entertain the both of them and dismiss the possibilities. I just order the Shakespeare stout. The other dark brews I notice on the wall menu are the Sublimely Self-Righteous (American Black Ale) and the Wee Heavy (as Scotch Ale). My taste buds can't wait to taste those ladies out.

After finishing the Bard, I walk over to Johnny's. I'm having the Big Black Bear Stout. The bartender's name is Tia whose giving me the Gilda Radner character feel along with a Natalie Portman vibe. I didn't like the Natalie Portman character in Garden State. The wannabe weird and trying to be so cute girl just didn't play well with me. Tia's husband (piercing light blue/grey eyes) and all tatted up  was at the bar, he works at Honda designing their prototypes and they were going to share some chickpeas for dinner.

 

On my last train to get home, I see this other good-looking bitch. She just had puppies or so the owner tells.

Bar Hopping Series-Book Donations, Buying Drinks for Two Underage Hotties and Getting Rick Rolled

,After the disappointment at Karla's, I took the Gold Line. At the Heritage Square and Cypress Station, the two nymphets noticed me and I noticed them. I played it cool and I got off at the Highland Park station. The two nymphets saw me getting off my stop, saw me switch directions and they definitely started to follow me. I ran quickly to the book booth to make my donations. I intentionally left them behind so I could drop off the books and take a piss at Follerrio's.

By the end of the evening, these were the books that were left.

After my piss at Follerio's, I remembered they were walking on the opposite side of Figueroa. So I walked back down towards Avenue 54. The two nymphets were waiting or pretending to wait for a bus. I started to walk up Avenue 54 toward Franklin High School. The two nymphets started to follow me again.  I asked the less buxom one, "You're not going to the same place I am are you?" We started to chit chat. I learned they're still underage. "Kimberly" is 19 years old. "Nicole" didn't give her age. I don't know why, but I got a feeling they were giving me aliases instead of their real names. Nicole wore a white blouse and had prettier facial features. Kimberly was more buxom and flaunted her ampleness with a pink colored string halter top. Both wore tight fitting jeans. Nicole said when she turned 21, she would celebrate in Vegas. I learned they live around Cypress Park. There isn't much going on in Cypress Park. I tell them there are 3 bars (actually 4 bars if you count the pool hall) on York Blvd and I'm drinking at the two places I've never been. They asked why I'm doing this alone. I told because I'm a rogue male. They didn't understand what the word rogue meant. I didn't bother to explain my sensibilities for the word in terms of being an elephant who is not with the herd but likes being apart. Nor did they understand the word penitentiary as I came to describe Franklin High School. I had to simplify and say jail. Yet both were adept at getting me to buy them 2 soft drinks and a bag of chips for $5.61 at the liquor store on Avenue 54 and York. Earlier on our walk I asked for their number. Kimberly gave me the number 944-5507. I didn't bother to add it to my cell phone because I thought it was fake. I asked them for their number again thinking they might give me the real thing. 944-5507 I wrote it on my moleskin.

The lyrics that later came to my mind to describe the two nymphets is "the female of the species is more deadly than the male."